Fat is Not a Disability

Being fat is not a disability, despite the fact that I recently saw a non-blind, non-deaf fat woman at Whole Foods with a "helper" dog. There are two things fundamentally wrong with this situation. One - What does a dog help a fat person to do? Apparently Fatty-eye dogs are good at finding the vitamin section because fat people can't see things that aren't food.

Two - There is no point in wasting your money at Whole Foods if you're fat. You can get fat on cheap food. Whole Foods is for celebrities and thin people who have long ago abandoned all hope of eating Oreos and are therefore heinous and bitter.

In conclusion, being fat is a choice. You are fat because you're lazy and I am bitter because I'm thin. You just can't win.