No Need to Rush – You’re Not That Important

Dear Rush-hour Commuters,

Why the hurry? Your morning commute is not a race. How do I know? Because there is no need to race to see who gets to their soul-crushing job first. Your only reward is arriving at work first, and this is not a prize because there's plenty of work for us all. Other workers are not going to use up all the monotony before you get there.

Maybe going fast, running lights, and endangering others makes you forget how pointless you are, but it's really inconsiderate. If you would take some time to mull over your actual value to the universe (universe-value can be calculated by multiplying the number of good things you've done by 0.000000000000000001), you would see that you being on time to work is worth exactly jack crap in the grand scheme of things.