Let's All Admit that we Hate Each Other

Let's all admit that we really only want to interact with people we know. After that, we are willing to talk to people we would have sex with and people from whom we can bum smokes. After that, celebrities, the lady who brought cup-cakes, and people with dogs. Regardless of these facts, please don't sit at a table for four if you are a party of two. I know that it's like so gross to have to sit next to another couple and make the effort to ignore them even though they are only 6-inches away, but you are wasting space. It's the lunch rush. You may not care about efficiency, but some people do and they wish you were dead.

Now maybe you aren't sitting at the four-top in an attempt to not speak to other people. Maybe you are dodging some foreigner's B.O. or you are at that booth because your ass is too big for anything but a booth. Either way, you are inconveniencing people and those people think you're an piece of shit. Because of you, they have to take their lunch to-go and eat it in a soul-crushing corporate prison. So as a New Year's resolution, wake up tomorrow, sit at an appropriately sized table, and stop acting like a douche.