God Still Hates You (Unless You're Fabulous, and by Fabulous, I Mean Rich)

If this is your car, you might just be the worst person on earth. Nothing says "I'm religious" like rubbing your wealth and moral superiority in the faces of others. If you like this bumper sticker, you might also want to consider some of my personal favorites:

"Jesus says, 'Poor people suck!'"
"If you're not rich, it's 'cause God hates you."
"God: Smiting the crap out of poor people since 2000 B.C."
"Poor people smell like doody."
"I'm better than you. Think about it."
"Hell is for the working-class."

Now, it would be my guess that this bumper sticker was intended for a beater, thus the joke being that the car is crappy and the sticker is facetious. However, luckily for those of us who enjoy righteous indignation, some douche bag thinks it's a good idea to cruise around in a $50,000 car while rubbing his asshole all over our faces. I'm not positive, but I think that constitutes reckless driving in the state of Texas.

I actually saw this bumper sticker on a Lexus on my drive home from work where I work for a living in order to have stuff like food and a house. I can only assume that God has forsaken me, as a pile of money and the desire to act like a total cunt have not just dropped from heaven into my lap. I guess I'll be seeing the rest of you average American mother-fuckers in Hell.