Put Your Ass on the Seat

No one has ever gotten AIDS from a public restroom, at least not by sitting on the toilet seat, so for God'’s sake, sit down when you take a piss, Ladies! Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about. You're a hoverer. Do you know how many trees have died to make the toilet paper I waste wiping your pee off the seat? Lots.

Look, no one puts their dirty bits on the seats anyways. People put their parts over the hole, that's the whole concept. Now get on board!