Note from the Daily Def. Celebrity Desk

Lindsay Lohan is still richer and more famous than you, despite the fact that she increasingly looks like a desperate waitress-zombie who just clawed her way out of the '60s. On her worst day, Lindsay has more fun than you will ever have in your worthless little life.

Look, some people are created to slave away at making the world run and others are created to greedily feast on it's sweet, sweet riches. It just so happens that God hates you.