Babies Don't Smell Sexy

Baby powder is not a good signature scent for a woman. Ever. You shouldn't smell powdery unless you're a baby, a prenatal nurse, or in the middle of changing a diaper. Even in those cases, it's just a necessity, not a fashion "do."

There are so many things wrong with baby powder smell on an adult that I hardly know where to begin. To start off, who decided it was sexy to smell like you have an ass rash? What makes you think that baby powder is a smell that might attract a viable mate? Any man who wants to tap "that" when "that" smells like an infant's most foul and dirty parts is probably a latent molester or one of those weird guys who wants you to nurse him and give him a spanking.

Baby powder is the kind of scent a woman should wear while trying to seduce a death row inmate or while browsing Rainbow for a skirt that shows off her labia. It's a good scent if you're planning your wedding at a NASCAR event or if you've ever watched an episode of that red neck TV show with Jeff Foxworthy. If you don't understand what I mean, I mean it's trashy.

If you like the smell of baby powder, ask yourself why you are so keen on smelling like something that cries all night and has yellow shit. Then ask yourself why you enjoying making people in your general vicinity struggle to keep their lunch down as they free associate your perfume with any number of terrible moments they've spent near a public restroom trash can, or if you live in my neighborhood, terrible moments you've spent in your local CVS parking lot.

Look, don't feel bad just because you like the powdery perfume. First, I'm sure there are a lot worse things about you to feel bad about. Anyways, my mom always said there is someone out there for everyone and I know there are just oodles of pre-teen girls soccer coaches in Plano eager to marry to throw the cops of the trail. I'm sure you'll be very happy (until the trial).