My God, Do You Eat Shit?
How is it possible that your body can create such a horribly pervasive, all-encompassing stink? Can you not smell your own stink? Really, If that came out of me I would drive myself to the emergency room. Yes, stinky poo guy, when you use the bathroom, your poo wages total war on the entire office. Your defecant mows over the stall as if it is not even there, ruining lives and most likely chemically sterilizing innocent bathroom occupants who are not trying to make the Guiness Book of World Records with their ungodly stink.
But does your fecal creation stop there? Perhaps, if it were the worst poo any normal person had ever made, but not your poo. Even the bathroom door, the last hope of an odor-free office, is completely useless. Yes, the door can STOP FIRE, but not the smell of your crap. And once its free of the bathroom there is nothing to stop it, the hall is invaded first, but the kitchen soon falls victim.
Now, normally, I would have to question any architect who would put the office kitchen so close to stinky poo guy's porcelain throne of doom, but really how can you fault him. The forces involved in your pervasive fecal stink are simply too great for anyone to have imagined, let alone predicted. No sir, the fault lies squarely on your shoulders. Stinky poo guy, something is wrong with you - innocent people are being hurt - do something about it.
Here are some suggestions:
Change your diet:While I'm sure you enjoy your diet of fried chicken and animal fat; it smells like you eat crap.
Change your job: You are too fat to work here anyways and everybody hates you.
Use the bathroom at home: While I'm sure your fat cheating whore-of-a-wife would leave you, and your below average children might become retarded, that is much better than ruining my day.
Donate yourself to science: Its quite possible that you are a disease on mankind that needs to be cured.
Kill yourself: This is probably best, as you are a worthless, overpaid ass who has never actually contributed anything useful to the world.
Guest Post by Dan, Defamer Sibling
But does your fecal creation stop there? Perhaps, if it were the worst poo any normal person had ever made, but not your poo. Even the bathroom door, the last hope of an odor-free office, is completely useless. Yes, the door can STOP FIRE, but not the smell of your crap. And once its free of the bathroom there is nothing to stop it, the hall is invaded first, but the kitchen soon falls victim.
Now, normally, I would have to question any architect who would put the office kitchen so close to stinky poo guy's porcelain throne of doom, but really how can you fault him. The forces involved in your pervasive fecal stink are simply too great for anyone to have imagined, let alone predicted. No sir, the fault lies squarely on your shoulders. Stinky poo guy, something is wrong with you - innocent people are being hurt - do something about it.
Here are some suggestions:
Change your diet:While I'm sure you enjoy your diet of fried chicken and animal fat; it smells like you eat crap.
Change your job: You are too fat to work here anyways and everybody hates you.
Use the bathroom at home: While I'm sure your fat cheating whore-of-a-wife would leave you, and your below average children might become retarded, that is much better than ruining my day.
Donate yourself to science: Its quite possible that you are a disease on mankind that needs to be cured.
Kill yourself: This is probably best, as you are a worthless, overpaid ass who has never actually contributed anything useful to the world.
Guest Post by Dan, Defamer Sibling
posted by Sarah at 4:55 PM
1 Comments:
I too have smelt "the nothing". What I can't handle is that smell is second to taste. We "smell" tiny particles that float up from something, which then pass to the back of our throat....so in essence, we are also forced to EAT tiny bits of people's shit when we go into the bathroom. I don't want to eat shit.
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