People: Not so Evolved

People are terrible at walking on two legs, which is ridiculous considering that skillfully two-legging it is what fundamentally separates us from apes as both speech and science are hopelessly overrated.

If you can't walk on the sidewalk and stay out of traffic, you should probably be eliminated from the gene pool. Walking is pretty much the first thing you learn in life after eating, crapping, and crying non-stop. There is no sense in thwarting man's evolution into an omniscient floating mega-being by putting up crosswalks and school speed-zones to encourage the most mentally destitute of our species to survive to reproductive age. Especially unnecessary are school speed zones around high schools. If you are old enough to drive and annoy adults but can't stop yourself from stepping in front of a truck on the way to school, you are a total spooge and should be pulverized back into the primordial ooze that it's a miracle you found your way out of in the first place. Apparently being the only amoeba with a "kick me, I'm a cunt." sign on it's ectoplasm is what it takes to get bumped to the top of the evolutionary ladder these days.