Why Can't You Turn Right?

After driving in a straight line, turning right is easily the most simply executed driving maneuver. So why the fuck can't you turn right? You are driving a car. It is designed for driving, including turning right without having to come to a complete stop and pull out to the left, occupying two lanes before casually rounding the corner at 1 mph. The curb is just there, inanimate, it's not going to leap forward to get your beloved car, you self-important, shit-eating fuck-wit. This may come as a shock, but other people also drive around on roads, which incidentally are paid for with public funds, and therefore not owned exclusively by you.

But really, your poor right-turn etiquette is just a symptom of a deeper problem: your total lack of respect for all other life on earth. I know that it's not fashionable to care about other people (although, strangely, it is cool to care about animals), but this is Texas, where I believe we invented road rage, so you might want to take time out from stroking your dick to pay attention before some other self-absorbed lummox takes a tire-iron to your face.