Surreptitious Farting Kills Hope for World Peace

Bad news assholes, as long as you keep surreptitiously farting in public, there is no hope for world peace. I know that exposure to a large open space can give you the urge to take a territorial shit, but try to remember that we are a part of this "civilization" thingy that requires behavior slightly above the "ape" level, including holding in your farts while stuck in the middle of a large, milling crowd of your fellow citizens. American malls are absolutely lousy with bathrooms in which you may blast out the remains of that jalapeno cheese log in private. Just a suggestion.